By my mistake, I instilled a drastic change in her and my self... she turned out to be more practicle which is good for her but I'm turning more impracticle day by day which making me helpless but still fighting back...
My life has been like climbing a cliff.. On top I always saw my aim.. what I always dreamt of.. I started my climb and the only drawback was that the path behind me faded as I climbed up and up. I was near the cliff... Now the hardest part was there... the cliff was steep ahead.. I rested for a while.. I saw a new path.. luring as it seemed to be.. I changed my route.. I got lost.. I realised soon but the path behind me has faded as ever so there was no turning back... I realised the mistake I did and left the path again to head for the cliff because it was the aim at the cliff that matters most rather than the path we come across...
I took the route which would take me to my destiny rather than any fancy.. but now the time was for payback.. I lost everything on the new fancy path that I took..
I no more have any gears or supports with me.. I have my Hands(Karmas) and a Hope that I will get my aim when I reach the Top of the cliff!!
I changed twice... Once I left the good way.. and went on to the fancy way.. but realised the mistake and changed again my way and got to the new route. The first change was indeed wrong and the second I don't know because the new route is quite slippery... everytime I'm climbing 2feet m slipping back 1feet or more, moreover due to bad weather I can't clearly see my aim on the top.. which instills a sense of fear in my spine everytime I look up and that is breaking my hope....
still I've promised myself that I'll never say never... I'll keep on going, there maybe two consequences but only one is favourable... I may reach to the top and get my aim.. or I may reach the top and realise that all was vain and this world does not deserves any love... and then I think I'll jump off the cliff!!
I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel-like, how I miss you. And how I love you despite been undeserving. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forver stay in my heart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder IF there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know...
you see I too have a very BIG if in my life...
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