I'm trying...

I'm trying hard to make things better. Somewhere in my heart I know nothing can be well now, I knew it very well about the future in the very beginning. I know who I am, What I deserve and what I don't deserve. Still I tried to get what I won't be able to desrve in my life inspite of all the hardships in achieving it I went careless and Lost it forever, yes forever and thats a bitter truth, like shit, I can't swallow all this situation.
I'm going to give up, in future I think so, because inside I have a feeling that tells me... Ashu, Back off... You won't make it better, you have to move alone.
I'm confused... I need to feel numb and number... till I feel it no more... regret, guilt...
Its true.. I too feel, I shouldn't have done that wrong to her six years back.. She deserved more, she always did..
I'm responsible for all this shit in which I am in today. I'm selfish, very selfish... I think.. I hate myself for this... will do so till the end...

Happy Independence day...

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY....

I'm proud to be Indian. I'll always be. It's true that we are in trouble due to the ground reality of corruption but still.. Its not the fault of our motherland... its because of some greedy people..
Gandhiji once said, "The earth has enough for everyone's need but very less for one man's greed"
Being the proud citizen of India, I vow to be a good citizen till my last breath.
What about you?

I Miss you

I want to hold your hand and walk a mile,

don't want to miss you, even for a while,

My life is so beautiful,

Coz dear you are my Life.

Hug me so that my worries could die,

my tears to dry

and my lonliness to fly,

I've been so selfish in the recent past,

however my love for would never last,

You felt ignored and that I don't care,

inspite being with u, I was not there,

but baby, I looked out the taxi to know the route,

in order to avoid any problems ahead.

Maybe this is the way I care.

I'm getting sentimental over you,

even if I try I cannot move,

So I decided to put things back,

to tell you its not you but its me who lacked.

I miss you every moment of the day,

I keep myself awake to listen to you,

I keep myself empty just for you to fill,

I keep myself alive just to see you.

fear of furture is worse than the pain of the past,

still I bother least, coz I know you are there.

even seconds are long to miss you,

I can't tell you what it really is,
I can only tell you what it feels like,
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe,
I can't breathe but I still fight till I can fight,
I've a ray of hope,

In this dark its enough to bring back light.

I just want to hold your hand and walk a mile,

don't want to miss you, even for a while....

Love you... forever...